When No Means Yes

During my time here in India, the thing that I've had the most difficulty adjusting to hasn't been what you'd expect. When people talk about cultural differences, they usually mention things like food, weather, dress, etc. For me however, it's a certain non-verbal signal that Indians use. Let me explain.

When we Americans want to say yes without actually speaking, we nod our head up and down. When we want to say no, we shake our head side to side. Well, when Indians want to say yes, they do this thing that to the untrained eye looks almost exactly like what we do when we want to say no. It's not quite the same....a little more of a side-to-side bob.

So, when I'm talking to someone or teaching in one of my classes, I constantly have to remind myself that they're not disagreeing with me when they're shaking their heads, haha. It doesn't seem like that big of a deal, but when your American mind is reading their non-verbals, it sure seems like they're always disagreeing with you.

That's just one of many small differences that I've been getting used to since I've been here. Others include: intermittent electricity, elastic time (everyone's late for everything), and the normal ones like food, weather, etc.

However, for all of the differences, I've also noticed that there are quite a few things that cross the barrier between the American and Indian cultures. Here are a few:

1. Smiles - nothing says "I'm happy and I like you" like a flash of the good ol' pearly whites, regardless of culture.

2. Names - In How To Win Friends And Influence People, Dale Carnegie says that the sweetest sound in the world to a person is their name. I've found that this is true both in America and India. Using someone's name lets them know that you care about them. Since I've been here, I've tried to memorize my students names, and all of the kids from the orphanage are constantly asking me their names because they want to make sure that I remember them.

3. Sugar - No duh, right? Although, quantity and location (what things you like it on) may vary, everybody like the sweet stuff.

4. Games/Competition - The competitive spirit is alive and well here in India. The students like to do volleyball and soccer whenever time allows. I've also got a little finger game that the kids really like, even though most of them have figured out the trick to it by now.

5. Coffee/tea - they drink a ton of both, and will try to bring it to you about 3 times a day whether you want it or not.

6. Muscles - More particularly, biceps. Although it's one of the less useful muscles in the body, it seems to garner the most attention....don't ask me why. As in America, bigger is always better in this area.

So, despite all of the cultural differences, there are also similarities, and they are what allow us to find common ground despite differences in background, skin color, language, etc.